Beyound Blue is an online site dedicated to raising support for those with depression and awareness about depression.

http://www.beyondblue.org.au/index.aspx?

I feel that this experience has been a traumatic experience for you. You described your emotions as horrified. Not many people wouldn’t feel anxious or frightened when a person important to them is threatening to kill themselves. Remember, it is important to look after yourself in order to be able to look after other people. If you continue to live in this constant state of anxiety, worrying about whether or not your partner is alive, you put yourself at risk of developing depression and that wouldn’t be too handy to either or you. Don’t hesitate to have a chat with someone you trust or even a Counsellor or Doctor about this incident if you feel that you need to. Do treat yourself kindly and look after yourself.

You are anything but useless. By providing her with a friend and partner to console with you are also providing her with resilience. Resilience is very important in the long term process of recovering from Depression.

Hi Anonymous,

First of all I’m sorry for this very late reply.

It is not uncommon for the child of a mentally ill parent to seek counselloring later in life.

When depressed it can be very easy to view the world through negative tinted glasses. I know I freaked out when I discovered some stretch marks on my breasts. I was so wrapped up about the marks that I didn’t consider postive ideas like my breasts are a fuller and bigger and many people find that attractive. It might be worthwhile to point out to her first that 1) whilst the stretch marks might look obvious and permanent now that they will actually fade with time and 2) that it isn’t the end of the world to have stretch marks.  She has a partner who cares a lot about her whether she has stretch marks and rapid weight gain or not. She might not have considered these positive alternatives because of her condition. Pointing out the positives is just helpful in the short term but I’ll provide some handy long term solutions if you keep reading.

It might also be good to point out that even though she might be at a place of mind where it seems as though suicide is the only answer ~ that there are many other answers out there. Depression is a highly treatable condition.

ON THE LONG TERM

It is completely possible to get better and to feel happy again even for someone with depression. Therapy is definitely helpful. It’s good for her to look around and decide for herself which therapy she feels will help the most but if possible Cognitive Behavioural Therapy is a great option. This is a Psychological Therapy that has long term benefits by changing negative thought patterns into more realistic thought patterns over time. Cognitive Behavioural Therapy costs can be subsidised or can be free for a certain amount of time. A Doctor or Counsellor on a Mental Health Hotline should be able to help find a place financially suitable if there is one.

If seeing a Psychologist face to face is not possible there are Counsellors available on the internet (http://www.psychforums.com/and) and on Helplines like Lifeline (13 11 14) . It can take a quick browse on the net to find a Helpline available in your country.

Antidepressents can also be prescribed through Doctors.

LOOK OUT FOR

If someone isn’t eating enough or taking in enough vitamins and fatty acids then there is the chance that the flight or fight nervous system in their body will become overaroused and that is unhelpful to the recovery process. It is good to encourage her to eat at least three meals a day. If she just buys porridge sachets, vitamin pills, omega 3 tablets and bananas then at least that’s a start. It’s also good to not overwhelmn someone with depression with too many tasks. Introduce the things you think will help her step by step and not all at once.

When I was first diagnosed as being mentally ill I was too ashamed to tell my friends or cousins even. It became a humiliating secret within my family. I felt defective, fake, that no one could ever love me if they found out that beneath the smiles and jokes I was actually incredibly anxious and maybe even back then - a little depressed too. I wanted people to like me, especially my friends and cousins and family. I feared rejection so badly. Because, when I feel loss that other people might see as something small, I feel it as a very intense and unbearable grief. I thought I would be unlovable if people thought I was mentally ill and so I would loose all the people I loved. I had a tendency to view people in an overly adoring, unrealistic light (still do, sometimes) whereas I would beat myself down over every imperfection, over every failure and bump in my life. How could these wonderful, funny and kind human beings view such a fake, mentally ill failure in a positive way?! I used to think.

I thought they would never want to speak to me again, that I would be dead to them.

On top of that, considering the stigma of mental illness, I thought I would become unemployable and wouldn’t be able to afford basic living necessities in the future like groceries and a place to live.

Now I know how distorted my thinking was. To my surprise, when I confessed my mental illness, my friends were still my friends and there was even some nice words of support for me. I now have a job that I like more than the one that I had before being diagnosed with a mental illness and I earn more money from it too. I could receive a months worth of support money from the Government to help me get back on my feet and receive a special plan where seeing a Psychologist is a lot cheaper. Being diagnosed with a mental illness is not the end of the world although it may seem like it for a start. If you feel like it’s all too much and you don’t know how to work things out then feel free to send me a message. I will try my best to find you some useful support services to get everything back on track.